The Golden Dunce Cap is Long Overdue
Truth be told, the Golden Dunce Cap is long overdue for Wendy Rogers (R-Nutzville). This dimwit may hold the record for the most idiotic ideas in history. But her latest is the spectacularly stupid proposal to name a highway in Arizona after…you guessed it: Donald J. Trump. Fitting for a state senator who once hailed from Snowflake Arizona (true story).
SCM1001 is actually the second attempt to do this. She tried this in 2021 in conjunction with her efforts to overturn the 2020 election results.
Oh, the joys of modern politics! Just when you thought things couldn’t get any more surreal, along comes a proposal to name a highway after Donald Trump. Yes, you heard that right. State Senator Wendy Rogers has decided that the best way to honor the former president is by slapping his name on a stretch of asphalt in Arizona. Because nothing says “legacy” like a road that people will curse at during rush hour.
Imagine the possibilities! Picture yourself stuck in traffic on the “Donald J. Trump Expressway,” inching along at a snail’s pace while muttering under your breath about the irony of it all. Maybe they’ll even install golden traffic lights that turn green only when you least expect it, just to keep things interesting.
And let’s not forget the potential for some truly epic road signs. “Welcome to the Donald J. Trump Highway: Where the Speed Limit is Just a Suggestion.” Or how about, “Caution: Alternative Facts Ahead”? The opportunities for satire are endless.
But wait, there’s more! Naming a highway after Trump could open the door to a whole new world of themed infrastructure. How about the “Mar-a-Lago Toll Bridge,” where you have to pay a fee just to cross, but only if you’re not a member of the exclusive club? Or the “Covfefe Roundabout,” where nobody really knows which way to go, but everyone pretends they do?
Of course, there are some practical considerations to keep in mind. For one, the highway would need to be constantly maintained to ensure it stays in pristine condition. After all, we wouldn’t want any “fake news” potholes tarnishing the Trump brand. And let’s not even get started on the potential for Twitter feuds with other highways. “Sad! The Lincoln Highway is a total disaster. Everyone says so.”
In the end, though, perhaps the most fitting tribute to Donald Trump would be a highway that goes absolutely nowhere. A road to nowhere, if you will. Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned from the past few years, it’s that sometimes the journey is more important than the destination. And what better way to honor that sentiment than with a highway that perfectly encapsulates the absurdity of it all?
So, here’s to you, Senator Wendy Rogers, our Brain-Dead Moron of the Week. The Golden Dunce Cap is really inadequate, a rubber room with a big poster of DJT in a swimsuit is more appropriate.
Just another chapter in the Donny Horror Picture Show.
